У нас все получится. Как понимать и любить друг друга - Элизабет Эрншоу

2001): 839–847, doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.158.6.839; George E. Vaillant, Adaptation to Life (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1995); George E. Vaillant, Aging Well (New York: Little, Brown, 2002).

4

R. D. Conger, M. Cui, C. M. Bryant, and G. H. Elder, “Competence in Early Adult Romantic Relationships: A Developmental Perspective on Family Influences,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 79, no. 2 (August 2000): 224–237, doi.org/10.1037//0022–3514.79.2.224; John M. Gottman, What Predicts Divorce? The Relationship Between Marital Processes and Marital Outcomes (Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1994); R. W. Simon and K. Marcussen, “Marital Transitions, Marital Beliefs, and Mental Health,” Journal of Health and Social Behavior 40, № 2 (June 1999): 111–125.

5

John Bowlby, Loss: Sadness and Depression, vol. 3 of Attachment and Loss (New York: Basic Books, 1980).

6

J. T. Cacioppo and S. Cacioppo, “Social Relationships and Health: The Toxic Effects of Perceived Social Isolation,” Social and Personality Psychology Compass 8, № 2 (February 2014): 58–72, doi.org/10.1111/spc3.12087.

7

D. C. Jack, “Silencing the Self: Inner Dialogues and Outer Realities,” in The Interactional Nature of Depression: Advances in Interpersonal Approaches, ed. T. Joiner and J. C. Coyne (Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 1999), 225.

8

Джон Готтман – профессор психологии в Вашингтонском университете, завоевавший признание работами о стабильности в браке и вероятности разводов. На русском языке изданы его книги «Эмоциональный интеллект ребенка. Практическое руководство для родителей» (М.: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2014), «Как сохранить любовь в браке» (СПб.: Питер, 2014), «7 принципов счастливого брака, или Эмоциональный интеллект в любви» (М.: Эксмо, 2018) и другие. Здесь и далее прим. пер., если не указано иное.

9

Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (New York: Little, Brown Spark, 2008).

10

R. J. Navarra and J. M. Gottman, “Sound Relationship House in Gottman Method Couples Therapy,” in Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy, ed. J. Lebow, A. Chambers, and D. Breunlin (New York: Springer, 2018), doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_208-1.

11

C. E. Rusbult and P. A. M. van Lange, “Interdependence, Interaction, and Relationships,” Annual Review of Psychology 54 (February 2003): 351–375, doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.54.101601.145059.

12

Eli J. Finkel, Jeffry A. Simpson, and Paul W. Eastwick, “The Psychology of Close Relationships: Fourteen Core Principles,” Annual Review of Psychology 68 (2017): 383–411, doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010416-044038.

13

K. T. Buehlman, J. M. Gottman, and L. F. Katz, “How a Couple Views Their Past Predicts Their Future: Predicting Divorce from an Oral History Interview,” Journal of Family Psychology 5, № 3–4 (1992): 295–318, doi.org/10.1037/0893–3200.5.3–4.295; J. Gottman and J. Gottman, “The Natural Principles of Love,” Journal of Family Theory and Review 9, № 1 (March 2017): 7–26, doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12182.

14

Maureen Werrbach, “Three Ways to Keep Your Relationship in the Positive Perspective,” Gottman Institute, November 16, 2016, gottman.com/blog/3-ways-to-keep-your-relationship-in-the-positive-perspective/.

15

Harville Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples (New York: Holt, 1988).

16

Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want.

17

N. L. Collins et al., “Working Models of Attachment: New Developments and Emerging Themes,” in Adult Attachment: Theory, Research, and Clinical Implications, ed. W. S. Rholes and J. A. Simpson (New York: Guilford Press, 2004), 196–239.

18

C. Hazan and P. Shaver, “Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 52, № 3 (1987): 511–524, doi.org/10.1037/0022–3514.52.3.511.

19

T. E. Trail et al, “The Costs of Racism for Marriage: How Racial Discrimination Hurts, and Ethnic Identity Protects, Newlywed Marriages among Latinos,” Personality and Social Psychological Bulletin 38, № 4 (2012): 454–465, doi.org/10.1177/0146167211429450.

20

Просоциальное поведение – осознанное стремление оказывать другим помощь, сотрудничать и т. д.

21

Toni Herbine-Blank, “Couples and Marriage Counseling with Internal Family Systems Therapy,” IFS Institute, ifs-institute.com/resources/articles.

22

Bumble – приложение для знакомств.

23

Thich Nhat Hanh, Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child (Berkeley, CA: Parallax Press, 2006).

24

В соответствии с теорией внутренних семейных систем (Internal Family Systems) наш разум состоит из разных субличностей, каждая из которых обладает своими особенностями и взглядами на происходящее.

25

J. Earley, “A Sophisticated Approach to Healing Your Inner Child,” IFS Growth Programs, November 9, 2010, personal-growth-programs.com/a-sophisticated-approach-to-healing-your-inner-child/.

26

“The Internal Family Systems Model Outline,” IFS Institute, 2021, ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline.

27

Джон Кабат-Зинн (р. 1944) – американский профессор медицины, основатель Клиники снижения стресса (Stress Reduction Clinic), создатель метода «Снижение стресса на основе осознанности» (mindfulness-based stress reduction), автор книг.

28

Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life (New York: Hyperion, 1994).

29

Scott Bishop et al., “Mindfulness: A Proposed Operational Definition,” Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 11, № 3 (2004): 230–241, doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bph077.

30

Christopher Pepping, Analise O’Donovan, and Penelope Davis, “The Positive Effects of Mindfulness on Self Esteem,” Journal of Positive Psychology 8, № 5 (2013): 376–386, doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2013.807353.

31

J. Goetz, D. Keltner, and E. Simon-Thomas, “Compassion: An Evolutionary Analysis and Empirical Review,” Psychological Bulletin 136, № 3 (2010): 351–374, doi.org/10.1037/a0018807

32

Нефф К. Самосострадание. О силе сочувствия и доброты к себе / К. Нефф. Москва: Манн, Иванов и Фербер, 2021.

33

K. D. Neff, “Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself,” Self and Identity 2, № 2 (2003): 85–101, doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032.

34

K. D. Neff and S. N. Beretvas, “The Role of Self-Compassion in Romantic Relationships,” Self and Identity 12, № 1 (2013): 78–98, doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548.

35

M. E. Kerr and M. Bowen,