Tantric Sex for Men - Diana Richardson

space between us, which reduces the emotions.

LETTER SHARING (WOMAN)

Making Time for Breasts

Over Christmas and New Years we had a difficult time. I was not really centered and our old issues about closeness and

distance resurfaced. Many emotions came up and it was not easy to get out of them. We had a shift and then we had an

extra long, very relaxing time. Tantra has become a familiar form of lovemaking, and for me it is a beautiful key to come

into my body, open up, and connect. If we succeed in meeting in the cool love-zone and really drop into it and connect

there, I feel very nourished on a deep level and I am in bliss.

I experience our encounters as always different and sometimes very intense. I feel a lot and I’ve ridden the waves of

energy. And then sometimes it is totally different, subtle, and relaxed. I feel very clearly how my body responds, opens,

and relaxes on a cellular level, and sometimes this happens when we are simply connected, as if that is the call for

relaxation. Hot love is still an issue, and if I succeed in engaging with it, staying in contact with myself, my energy, and

mostly with my heart, I do enjoy this as well. The afterward time is our teacher, a beautiful experience.

I am just reading your book for women and I thank you here for it. It is really good to get background information

that relates to my experiences, or to let myself be inspired by the exercises and explore them. I’m giving more attention to

my breasts and I’m very happy to experiment alone with myself or during lovemaking. I have made extra time in my

calendar for my breasts, and I want to deepen the connection.

LETTER SHARING (MAN)

Happy to Be Present

It was a revelation for me to finally find out how I can integrate spirituality in my relationship and my sexuality, and

thereby heal myself and my partner.

I feel as if I arrive much more at home, and as if I found my true calling: to learn and live playfully and joyfully, and

to share how we love and find fulfillment on Earth, thereby overcoming separation and freeing ourselves from the

illusion of the ego.

It was an important part of my healing to watch how loving and respectful you two are with each other. Since I

originally come from a family within which an extreme amount of fighting went on, it was very healing to see how love

and respect can be practiced between a man and a woman, if we learn to understand our deeper essence. My

relationship has become much deeper and more fulfilling. I am free of performance pressure and happy to see and live

my part as a man—to be present.

LETTER SHARING (WOMAN)

You Have to Make a Lot of Love

I keep remembering your advice. When I said good-bye I was in great fear that at home everything would be different,

and that all our problems would come up again. You felt my fear and said, “You have to make a lot of love.” I did so, and

something wonderful happened. My husband is more loving, mellower, and more tender in his whole being. The wrinkles

in his face have disappeared and his skin is very soft. I believe that he let go of his difficult upbringing and conditioning

during that week. I am very grateful that you guided us on this beautiful and sunny path. That’s exactly what we have

been looking for after our thirty-nine years of marriage.

LETTER SHARING (MAN)

The Bliss of Full-body Orgasm

For our love session (during the seminar) we retreated to our bungalow, which helped us to explore a totally new and

healing closeness, and a new expression of our love. Since the beginning of the seminar we had been in close contact

with our emotions and feelings, and we felt much more porous and sensitive than before the course. After a shower we

cuddled and rested for about twenty minutes in deep relaxation. We looked long and deeply into each other’s eyes. Then

we put ourselves in the scissors position and connected without having an erection, and without feeling any lust.

We closed our eyes and took a deep breath in the direction of our genitals, while each of us tuned in to the inner

polarity—calmly, without expecting or intending anything. After a while my woman felt very fine, short pulses of lust. My

soft penis started pulsing very softly in her vagina. We both did not move. As we looked into each other’s eyes, I felt as if

the energy circuit between us had completed. We felt a ball of energy in our genitals. I could not tell anymore where my

being, my penis, stopped, and where she started. Penis and vagina felt like one shared whole, like pure energy. Warm

waves were running through my body and I thought, “This is it what it means to melt into each other.”

We sensed subtle energies pulling my penis deeper inside her. She felt soft and velvety, both of us pulsing softly with

each other. My penis curled deeper and deeper into her vagina, without my moving at all. We both experienced a new

feeling of closeness, silence, peace, bliss, and lust at the same time. Her vagina had received my penis fully. I felt like a

welcome guest in her, and realized how my penis had stiffened.

In this moment a wave of sadness rose in me. I had felt some sadness while we were making love in the days before,

but this time the sadness was unbelievably strong and intense. Tears streamed steadily as I thought about what I had done

with my penis up until then. It was so sad, so terrifying. All of a sudden I became painfully aware of all the unconscious

sex with my woman and the women before her, how this had been caused by my goal-oriented behavior, and how the

women might have felt with it. It is so painful to realize what mischief is caused by conventional sex. I had always

considered myself to be a tender lover, but it is not the intention but the actual result that counts. My God, what have I

done through unawareness?

It was as if I felt the pain of all women in my body. I am so sorry! I never intended that. I always intended to express

my love. I simply cannot hurt the person that I love the most. While I was in tears and sharing all my insights with her, we

were still united. Sobbing, I begged her to forgive each single moment in which I had been unconscious in sex with her. It

was a relief when she said it had not been my fault, for it had happened without my knowing better.

Slowly I calmed down and began to feel a deep peace. I felt my heart from inside, and a connection between my base

chakra and my heart chakra, which got more and more intense. My penis snaked again deep into her vagina. The

intensity of the sex/heart chakra connection grew steadily, my breath got deeper, quicker, and stronger, and a powerful

sensation of love rose up inside me. I stayed totally conscious with all that happened, more a watcher than an actor. I

shared everything that happened with my woman. I felt how the energy in my penis started to rise inside of me. It was

overwhelming. My penis and my pelvis filled with a warming energy, which finally streamed into the belly over the left

side of my body up into my heart. My whole body was filled with the sensation that I usually have in my penis in moments

of orgasmic ejaculation. The sensation went on and got more and more intense. It streamed into the left arm, down into

the fingertips. It was overwhelming. On the left side of my body it continued streaming up to the place between my eyes.

There seemed to be no end to it; it was a permanent feeling of ecstasy. All the energy had been streaming from my penis

up into my whole body. Then my penis became soft without my ejaculating.

As previously experienced, I clearly sensed all my chakras as warming wheels turning slowly and continuously

clockwise. It was a wonderful sensation. I laughed and had tears of joy, and had no idea how much time had passed.

Finally, all over my body the sensation slowly faded, but in my heart I could still feel it for a long time. I was deeply

satisfied. I had never experienced anything so beautiful in my whole life.

Later I asked my girlfriend what that might have been, and she said, “Darling, maybe you had a full-body orgasm.”

Tantric Inspiration

The word tantra means the capacity of expansion, that which goes on expanding. Sex shrinks you, Tantra expands

you. It is the same energy, but it takes a turn. It is no longer selfish, no longer self-centered. It starts spreading—it

starts spreading to the whole existence. In sex, for a moment you can attain to the orgasm, and at a great cost. In

Tantra you can live in the orgasm twenty-four hours a day, because your very energy becomes orgasmic. And your

meeting is no longer with any individual person: your meeting is with the universe itself. You see a tree, you see a

flower, you see a star, and there is something like orgasm happening.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

PHILOSOPHIA PERENNIS

APPENDIX

EXERCISES FOR IMPROVING YOUR AWARENESS

AND SENSITIVITY

Practice is the best way to improve in any area, and sex is no exception. There are a number of ways

to “practice” awareness by yourself and develop sensitivity skills that will enrich your lovemaking.

Familiarizing yourself with some of the sequences below will help you learn how to relax and engage

your attention during lovemaking, so that you can be more fully present with your partner.

Connecting with Your Own Body

Pulling Attention away from the Mind and into the Body

Becoming fully aware of your own body will make it easier to truly connect with another person’s

body, and this is easily done. As you sit or lie on your back you can start by closing your eyes and

taking your attention to inside your body. As your awareness (attention) travels around the different

parts of your body, discover a place within that feels good, restful, easy, a space that feels like home

to you. This place can be anywhere below the head that helps you feel more rooted and anchored in

your body, connected to it from the inside. If your whole body feels like home, this is fine, and if

nowhere feels like home, this is also fine. The feeling of having a home within the body may become

clearer in time, and if not, that’s all right, too. This suggestion is only a tool, not a special technique.

Continue to rest and be with that part in your body, bringing awareness into the tissues. The inner

realms of the body are also your flesh, guts, and marrow, and the source of your cellular aliveness. It

takes practice to learn to identify and give value to finer bodily sensations, the delicious, subtle

vibrations of life streaming and flowing through you. If you sincerely begin to love, honor, and pay

attention to your body’s inner world, it will soon become second nature. You can connect with your

“inner home” at any moment of the day, while sitting, driving, eating, walking, or resting.

Becoming Aware of Habitual Tensions

Relaxing the Body from Head to Toe

It is enormously helpful to scan the body and check for tension while you are making love. Or at any

other time of the day. If you’ve never done this in an organized way before, it might be useful to

practice on your own, perhaps as you’re lying in bed preparing for sleep. You can also do this sitting

or standing. Begin by becoming aware of each part of your body from head to toe, and relaxing each

individual part. You will notice how the body takes a deep breath as you relax, letting go of subtle

tensions. Allow each part to melt down into the part below it, until it all melts out the bottom of your

feet. Your crown melts down into your forehead, which softens down into your eyes, and then into

your cheekbones. This continues into the mouth and jaw, and on down into the shoulders, allowing

them to drop down a few inches. Continue on down through your body, taking particular care with

classic tension spots such as the solar plexus (take a deep and conscious breath here), let go of the

belly, relax the buttocks, and release the anus.

Breathe gently and deeply through the diaphragm and into the belly, infusing the floor of the pelvis

with vitality. Maintain awareness of your breathing whenever possible and for as long as possible.

Whenever you find your attention drifting, shift back to your own body and breath. Keep scanning

upward and downward and notice where (and how easily) habitual tensions reassert themselves, and